I was up till 1 in the morning playing with my new toy. I call my iPhone a toy because despite the fact that it is a $500+ piece of high technology, I was giggling like a child over each new feature. The web surfing. Setting up the wireless and checking my email so easily. Locating my house on Google maps (in Satellite feature, no less).

This is not to say that the iPhone doesn’t have some disadvantages. For example, the lamest ringtones you ever heard. And from everything that I can tell (I checked both the AT&T and Apple sites) NO WAY TO DOWNLOAD OR INSTALL NEW ONES! Also, despite the fact that the iPhone connects via USB, it does not show up as a USB device (thus no ability to install files like ringtones). This is a major suckage. Oh, and no way to sync up with email other than Apple Mail or Microsoft Outlook. I’m sorry, Mail is just lame, and Outlook is a virus waiting to happen (plus, I DON’T USE WINDOWS, DUDE!!). It’s Thunderbird for me right now (though I’ve used Eudora in the past, and have no qualms about going back to it…good program).

Anyway, the worst, most horrible disadvantage of the iPhone.

The dreams.

Yeah, that’s right. Steve Jobs didn’t mention that “feature” of the iPhone in his keynotes, did he? So, I went to bed, and I started dreaming about the iPhone. First it was about how features in the iPhone didn’t end up actually working the way that I had thought that they were working…Google maps found my house, and wouldn’t locate anything else, for example!

Then it went to settings not working properly. For example, the settings for mail that allow you to never have the mail taken off of the server. In fact, “Never” really meant that I could never keep the email on the server, and that the hundreds of emails I had just downloaded from the server that were supposed to be left there to go to my G5 Tower (when it is up and running today…it’s my archive for email) had just vanished forever onto a machine that wouldn’t move it back!

But the worst was when my brain moved into convention mode. See, I have what I call “convention dreams” (I do a lot of conventions) where I’m running around spaces that are either big convention sites or hotels, either full of people or empty, doing things. In this case, I was running away from someone who was doing something to my iPhone. And I swear, folks, this felt like a life and death situation. At one point my daughter, Kouryou-chan, was there, in a pretty green ballet dress (fortunately not the one for her performance today).

Get this: I had to stab her in the chest and watch her eyes as she died in order to get the iPhone back!

I woke up from that dream and had to stop myself from going into my daughter’s room and telling her that I would *never* kill her for a piece of technology. Sorry Jobs!

I haven’t found the settings that turns off the damn dreams “feature”. But I’m emailing Apple to tell them I consider it a bug!