iGame Radio

Aspry Media, after searching long and hard for the fabled Mac Djinn, finally discovered it late last night. Upon discovering it, Aspyr President Michael Rogers immediately made the wish that Aspyr had kept locked in their safe for more than 10 years.

This secret wish, that Apple purchase the game development and porting company, was completed this morning. Apple CEO Steve Jobs apparently woke up with the sudden desire to purchase a company. After throwing the dart at the Company List dart board, the 1 in a million shot was made and the decision to purchase Aspyr Media completed within hours.

“We’re just absolutely thrilled to officially be under the Apple umbrella,” Aspyr President Michael Rogers commented. “With Apple’s support, we will be bringing in a new era of gaming to all Apple computers and mobile devices.”

In Aspyr’s official press release, they mentioned that the details of the deal are still unclear. However, the future is “endless”.

From the press release:

Early speculation points to a mass licensing, if not outright buyout, of multiple top games from 2010, including Mass Effect 2 from EA, Red Dead Redemption from Rockstar, and possibly even Halo: Reach from Microsoft. Others see the Apple/Aspyr duo focusing on new, innovative IP that will be playable across all of Apple’s devices, mobile or not.

Aspyr then promptly turned around and threw themselves a giant party, which caused their downfall. The immensity of their fantasy wish-fulfillment clashed with the Steve Jobs famed “Reality Distortion Field” which resulted in Steve Jobs, and Apple, discovering the Wish, and the Djinn.

Which is why none of this ever really happened.